so she began to open them
the tiny boxes that composed her;
shook the dust off of their lids
and held them gently,
peered into them tenderly.
she shook a bit
at each unveiling,
but they surprised her
in their generosity, with their understanding.
and after staring at them for a while
and sitting with them,
she softly put each one down
and grabbed another.

//////

“What is real?” asked the rabbit one day…
“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse.
“It’s a thing that happens to you.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful.
“Does it happen all at once…?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once, said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

That last bit is from The Velveteen Rabbit, which I originally heard in my favorite sermon of all time, by Peter Hiett of Lookout Mountain Church. I had it recorded on CD and listened to it about a hundred thousand times when I used to live in Ft. Collins. I could practically repeat the thing word-for-word, and told it to about everyone I knew. One of my fantastical friends, Emily, now has a large portion of this text tattooed on her back, and I think it’s beautiful.

I loved it because it felt like truth to me. I adored it, because in my experience, love is what happens after time…what happens when you beat each other up and you embrace each other nonetheless.

And, the truth is…I’ve beaten myself up more than anyone else ever has. And so, now, I’m taking these pieces down off of the shelf and remembering all of my little parts, and the big ones, too. I’m asking them a bit of forgiveness and learning things I’ve long forgotten.

Damn the iPhone for taking shitty photos.